Bats Are Gross, ew!
When we see a bat, we probably want to duck and cover because we think they could be a superstitious creature of the night. When they bite us, we believe they could turn us into a night superhero or minions enslaved to Count Dracula.
How much do you know about bats? Even though you might know they like to hang around upside down. In which they do, they do everything upside down, especially taking a bath. But how do bats clean themselves? You won’t believe it. They take a urine bath. In other words, they pee on themselves to give a urine wash, and that could stink up the whole place, especially the attic. So if there’s a foul smell in your attic, it could be the bat that escaped from a lab in another country.
Did you know they have a small penis? Not the average size of a human being. Did you know the bats can mate in mid-air? Their aim has to be perfect and able to connect in the air. Any slip out could be a slap in the face on the ground; that would be hysterical and embarrassing.
Several bats have been reported masturbating several times a day, so it is not surprising that they are very sexually active. Besides taking care of themselves, they also help their friends. As well as female bats, male bats also masturbate.
Conservationists, who rehabilitate bats, have had a few pretty hairy encounters of them being hormone-fueled pleasure addicts (and pretty disgusting ones at that). My favorite story is about a bat keeper who didn’t realize the bat had ejaculated all over itself. The bat then sneezed on the bat keeper, transferring a healthy amount of fluids to him. So keep your distance, kids. Six to eight feet apart? And wear a mask!
It is not a good idea to keep bats as pets.
